"What happened then?" she asked eagerly while removing her eyes from the painting and meeting my gaze, "When he realized what had happened to him?"

My eyes moved from her face to another painting. She followed my gaze. "When he knew what he had become," I said in a low voice, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" Bella asked with shock present on her face.

I contained a sigh, "He jumped from great heights," my voice stoic, "He tried to drown himself in the ocean...but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist...feeding...while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation," I explained.

I knew at any moment she would comprehend my words and descend the stairs and quickly exit the house.

"Is that possible?" she asked darkly.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

I saw her open her mouth and I rushed to get the words about before she could ask me another question, "So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and -"

"He swam to France?" Bella shrieked incredulously.

I had to compose my face because I was trying desperately not to laugh at her reaction, "People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," I reminded her.

She blinked foolishly, "That's true, I guess," shock was evident in her eyes still, "It just sounded funny in that context. Go on."

"Swimming is easy for us -"

"Everything is easy for you," she interrupted, a little perturbed.

I paused, waiting for her to ask another question. The look on her face was very comical. Her mouth hung open a little and her eyes were wide with surprise. She was quick to perceive my obvious reason for hesitating before I continued, "I won't interrupt again, I promise," she said with a small smile.

I laughed because I knew that she would interrupt again when she hears what I have to say next, "Because, technically, we don't need to breathe," I began until Bella burst out, "You - "

"No, no, you promised," I laughed because I knew that when she heard this bit of information that her reaction would be exactly what it was now. Her face was screwed up in longing to finish her questioning. I brought my finger to her lip to silence her, "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

She spoke with my finger pressed lightly against her warm lips, "You can't spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to say anything." Her voice was mumbled, trying to speak past my silencing finger. I traced my finger down her jaw and stopped at her neck. My stomach did summer-salts when her pulse speed by my touch. I had momentarily forgotten about the story or where we were. It was just Bella and I, together.

"You don't have to breathe?" her eyes were still wide with interested; her question bringing me to the present.

"No," I answered, instantly nervous that this proclamation would be the thing that scares her away, "it's not necessary. Just a habit." I shrugged, showing her how little it really mattered.

She dropped her voice, almost conspiratorially, "How long can you go...without breathing?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable - being without a sense of smell." I tried to explain very nonchalantly.

"A bit uncomfortable," she mirrored.

I continued to look at her face. Each expression fluttered across with little time to settle. Her eyebrows pulled together and I wanted to take my thumb and smooth out the complexity lines. Trying to understand her thoughts was like trying to read sign language unknown to humans.

A new speculation loomed in my mind. I removed my hand from her, letting the cold return. Something was eating at me from the inside. I was bringing her into this mythical world. Each new revelation bringing her closer to the doom I was prepared to fight. Bella's face grew very grave. She was watching my expressions now, "What is it?" she asked gently.

She brought her hand to my face, trying to comfort me. I felt each pump of her blood. Her hand warmed my cheek to several degrees than my normal temperature. I sighed because I knew that I was inviting her to tempt fate and that I would allow it.

"I keep waiting for it to happen." I said quietly.

"For what to happen?" she asked urgently.

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go," I pasted a smile across my face, trying to ease the tension building inside me, "I won't stop you. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile..." I kept my eyes fixed on her, waiting for her to agree with me and just leave.

There was a long and painful silence before either of us spoke again.

"I'm not running anywhere," Bella promised with obvious triumph in her voice, like she was looking fate in the eye and taunting it.

I remembered the story, and thought that if I continued maybe, just maybe, she would hear something that would scare her away, "We'll see," I smiled.

Her lips turned down at the corners, a frown forming on her face, "So, go on - Carlisle was swimming to France."

I caught my breath, delighting in the ever present yearning in my stomach. I moved my gaze from her face to another painting deciding to continue, "Carlisle swam to France," I repeated, "and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine - and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives. I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to prefect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital..." I trailed off, my thoughts moving in a different direction.

I willed myself to be like Carlisle. I wished to have his self control, to never have to second guess my senses. I inhaled; something I used to do to calm myself, but now it brought red hot flames ripping down my throat. I mentally shut out the yearning I had now. I remembered what my purpose was for this conversation. I brought my hand to the painting in front of us, tapping lightly on it.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers." I said while lightly tracing the figures in the picture; the Volturi.

I was so deep in thought, remembering things that Carlisle had seen when a startled laugh burst out of Bella's lips. I turned to see what the matter was; thinking that maybe she finally had lost it. Dawn crossed my face as I realized what she was looking at. It was Carlisle's face in the painting with the Volturi.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods," I laughed at the impossibility that any vampire could ever be a god, "Aro, Marcus, Caius," I explained as I pointed each one out to her, "Nighttime patrons of the arts."

Her eyes darted from the painting to me face, "What happened to them?" she questioned.

Her hand reached up to touch the figures in the painting but her finger never touched.

"They're still there," I shrugged, "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act - since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try..."

During my story telling, I had visualized everything that Carlisle and I had both witnessed during the few days before and after my transformation. The painful memory was something I rarely thought of these days. I looked out the window, banishing the unpopular imagines from my mind.

My chest was swelling at the relief I felt for finally releasing the information that could doom me from ever seeing this delightful creature again. The feeling of happiness that was surging through my body at this moment in time was completely indescribable. I hadn't realized that I would feel like this, too; that knowing she wasn't running, that she was one hundred percent accepting. I returned my gaze to Bella. She looked humble and my lips turned up; an automatic response to her beauty.

"And so we've come full circle," I finished.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" she asked.

She was constantly asking all the questions that gave everything away about me and nothing about her, "Almost always," I replied.

I slowly reached out and placed my hand on her waist, exaggerating the movement. I delicately moved her along with me, always remembering how fragile she was.

"Almost?" Bella asked while we were walking down the hall.

Crap, I thought. Why was this the one question, of all the questions, to ask? I knew I would give her the answer. The internal argument of her safety still loomed in my mind. She should stay away from me but I loved her and the thought of her leaving caused me physical pain. Pain was something I hadn't felt since before the transformation. Bella brought out all the human aspects of me, including the weakness of pain.

I sighed, "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence - about ten years after I was...born...created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time." I explained.

Now, this would be it, the thing that makes her scream in terror. I waited, but, instead of terror she was intrigued.

"Really?" she asked her eyes wide with curiosity.

She wasn't frightened? I admitted to killing humans and she was...curious. She is so peculiar. That was an understatement. She had lost her mind. We ascended the next set of stairs. I was leading her to my room. I turned and looked at her, "That doesn't repulse you?" I asked curtly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I guess...it sounds reasonable," she said firmly.

A laugh escaped my lips as I thought of the absurdity of her answer. Horrified delight sliced through my veins.

"From the time of my new birth," I replied quietly, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle - I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the...depression...that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murdered down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl - if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

I watched as she shivered. I continued in my quest to be nothing but honest with her, "But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

I stopped in front of my bedroom door, "My room," I told her while opening the door and leading her inside.

I watched her as she took in everything. Her eyes flowed rapidly from one side of the room to the other. Her stare lingered on my CD's.

"Good acoustics?" she asked.

My good mood was vibrant now. The pain from not knowing today's outcome had subsided. I was radiant with glee. I chuckled and nodded at her question. I decided I would give her an example and turned the stereo on from a remote. When the jazz music began to play she whirled spectacularly in a circle, delight in her eyes at the sound. She stopped and moved over to my collection of music. Her eyes read through several labels, "How do you have these organized?" she asked in astonishment.

I was barely paying attention to her words because I was in complete merriment of how the events unfolded today, "Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," I answered automatically.

She turned around to face me. The whirl wind of her warm aroma hit me like a wrecking ball. I continued to breathe evenly, reveling in the pain. I couldn't shake my new found happiness that was ever present in my being. She wanted me; all of me. Her eyes met mine and she read my face, "What?" she asked.

"I was prepared to feel...relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me...happy." I shrugged my shoulders, but the jubilance radiated out of me and a smile crept up my face.

"I'm glad," she replied with a smile.

I continued to gaze at her. I tried to read her expressions but they were so swiftly changing since she entered this house. I willed myself once more to read her mind. I tried probing it with mine over and over to no avail. My forehead creased in concentration.

"You are still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" she wondered.

My lips turned up lightly and I nodded.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually," she lied silkily.

Disbelief was strong in my mind. I raised an eyebrow at this news. A sinister thought raced through my head and before I acted a wide smile spread across my face, "You really shouldn't have said that," I laughed.

I growled very un-menacingly, brought my lips above my teeth to show them off, and hunkered down. Her eyes grew wide with terror.

"You wouldn't" she shrieked.

I let my body recoil as I sprung.

19. Baseball

As I pounced on Bella I brought her into my arms and held her there securely while flying through the room at a ferocious velocity. When we collided with the couch it went flying across the room until it settled against the wall with a large crashing blast. She was breathing in large heavy gasps of air and her heart was drumming madly. She tried to move out of my protective arms and I refused.

I moved her closer into my embrace letting her warm my body. She eyed me suspiciously and a playful grin spread across my face without my permission. It was just something I did naturally when I was around her.

"You were saying?" I pretended to growl.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," her voice was sagging with sarcasm under her heavy panting.

"Much better," I agreed.

She looked up at me, still a little jarred by my sudden movement, "Um..." she paused and continued to struggle, "Can I get up now?" she asked.

"What the hell was that noise?" Jasper asked Alice.

"Ha-ha. Edward is wrestling with Bella." Alice answered cheerily.

Oh my, Jasper began thinking, but his thoughts turned frenzied.

I began laughing at Bella and Jaspers now frantic thoughts.

"Can we come in?" Alice asked from the hall.

Bella continued to struggle in my arms but I refused to let her go. I repositioned her so she was on my lap. I could feel the warmth of Bella's blood as it raced up her cheeks when she realized that Alice and Jasper were in the door way.

"Go ahead," I barked a laugh.

How can he get that close to her? It seriously blows my mind, Jasper was panicking mentally.

Jasper had a strong belief that being this close to a human was impossible without feeding. His belief was now being thrown out the window.

Alice's thoughts were just a humming of approval. She was radiating with glee as she moved fluidly into the room, dropping to the ground and crossing her legs with a gleaming smile across her face.

Jasper continued to stay in the door way. His thoughts were still fanatically stunned.

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share," Alice said while she failed extravagantly at trying to suppress laughter.

Bella stiffened like a board in my arms but met her gaze unflinchingly and I couldn't help but grin at both of them. When Bella saw my face she relaxed. I looked at Alice and answered back playfully, "Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare."

I tightened my arms around her. Her heart was still humming quickly and her blush was still pronounced on her cheeks. Jasper finally got his thoughts out of a tangle as the mood of the room finally hit him.

Wow, I've never felt Edward feel so...happy...and...in love. A smile spread across Jaspers face automatically at the cheerfulness in the room. "Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?" he asked while walking into the room.

Playing ball did sound fun. I knew Emmett would be thoroughly pissed if I didn't show up this time. I remembered the vampires that are visiting in the area and without thinking about it I looked at Bella and realized I would never leave her for a moment with those creatures at large. Before I could respond Alice chimed in, "Of course you should bring Bella."

What? Jasper looked mildly surprised and sent Alice a quick look but turned back so quickly I wasn't sure if Bella caught it. Once again I had to remind myself that it was always her choice, "Do you want to go?" I asked as excitement burst through me.

She looked at me and without hesitating she said, "Sure. Um, where are we going?"

This is going to be so much fun! Alice's thoughts flitted through my mind.

I can't believe this. Oh well this should be...interesting. Jasper thought while curiosity was willing inside him.

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball - you'll see why," I smiled at her.

A sign of nervousness was evident on her face when she bit her lower lip. She didn't realize she was doing it when she looked at me and asked anxiously, "Will Ineed an umbrella?"

We all started laughing but I was relieved because I was finally aware of what her sudden apprehension was.

"Will she?" Jasper asked with a most peculiar expression.

"No. The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing." Alice said while the vision of the clearing ran through her head.

Jasper was so full of happiness and joyfulness from the situation happening in the room that he couldn't contain his smile, "Good, then," he exclaimed.

Being around Alice was always a little strange because I was constantly seeing the future. This time it was just the coming minutes going through her mind. I saw her going to Carlisle and asking about playing ball.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come," Alice jumped off the ground and headed toward the door with a wink in Jaspers direction.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased.

Jasper closed the door behind him, Have fun bro.

Bella turned in my lap, her heart fluttering at our closeness, "What will we be playing?" she wondered.

I laughed at the thought of letting her hold a bat, or worse, letting her try to hit a ball with a bat.

"You will be watching," I clarified, "We will be playing baseball," I explained.

She rolled her eyes at me, "Vampires like baseball?" she asked in disbelief.

"It's the American pastime," I said in mock seriousness.

Some very annoying sound was in my ear. I was driving down Bella's street when little droplets of rain began splattering onto the windshield. That was not what was bothering me. Billy Black was waiting for Charlie in his driveway so he could tattle tale like a little kid on Bella's new found relationship with me.

"Damn Quileute legends," I muttered so low that Bella couldn't hear me.

Jacob and his father were taking shelter on Bella's front porch and I was instantly tense.

Can't she tell there is something wrong with that kid? His cold white skin, his aversion to the sun...I will settle this though. Charlie will listen to me and force her to stop seeing the Cullen kid. Billy Black thought with a sneer and a curse in each thought with my name.

Charlie isn't even here, why are we waiting here in the rain like idiots? Jacob thought until he saw Bella, Oh, well...maybe this wasn't a wasted trip after all.

I had heard enough. The thoughts radiating off of them were about to drive me to let the monster free. I couldn't let that happen when Bella was around.

"This is crossing the line," I said vehemently.

Bella's eyes found mine and they were worried. "He came to warn Charlie?" she asked horrified.

I gave her a grave look and nodded. I turned toward Billy then and I was seeing red. My eyes were narrowed into tiny slits. I can just get out of the car and scare them off. Or maybe I could...

"Let me deal with this," Bella interrupted my internal rage.

I didn't want to let her leave my side. To think of the things she was going to hear from Billy's mouth. His thoughts continued to get snippier and nastier each time he glared in my direction. I knew if I left the vehicle now and released my anger that I would lose Bella, so I quickly agreed, "That's probably best. Be careful, though. The child has no idea."

"Jacob is not that much younger than I am," she reminded me crisply.

I turned my gaze on her because she pulled me from my anger. She always knew exactly what to say to calm my nerves and bring me back to earth. I grinned at her, "Oh, I know," I assured her.

She looked exasperated. She reached for the door handle and sighed. I needed to leave here before my temper came back.

What the hell are they doing? What is taking so long? Billy thought angrily.

"Get them inside so I can leave. I'll be back around dusk," I commanded.

Her eyes met mine again, "Do you want my truck?" she asked.

Hasn't she learned better by now? I rolled my eyes, "I could walk home faster than this truck moves."

A sad look entered her eyes, "You don't have to leave," she said longingly.

She had no idea how difficult it was for me to leave while there were vampires lurking in the vicinity and the Blacks were here to cause trouble. I looked at her expression realizing she didn't want me to leave just as much as I didn't want to leave her. "Actually, I do. After you get rid of them," I glared in the Blacks direction, "you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend," a smile spread across my face.

She groaned loudly, "Thanks a lot."

Her face was so adorable when she was upset or angry. I couldn't help but smile at her. "I'll be back soon," I promised.

If she doesn't exit that truck in one minute I am going to go over there and make sure she is okay, Billy swelled ominously.

I turned my glare back in the direction of the porch at the last thought. I wanted to taunt Billy just a little bit and Jacob too. I leaned down and slowly brought my lips to Bella's jaw. I kissed lightly and her heart jumped up in her chest. Her blood was pulsing quickly and the scent made me go wild. The kiss was all flames and electricity down my throat. When I moved away from her, she looked towards the porch and could see the same thing I could. Billy had a death grip on his wheel chair and his thoughts were in frantic disarray.

Oh, how... oh, goodness. I... Well...disgusting! Billy's thoughts were choked.

Bella realized how panicked Billy was now and she was suddenly in a rush, "Soon," she ordered while opening the door to the truck and stepping out into the rain.

When the rain droplets ran down her face I could see them evaporate while the wind blew her rainy scent in my direction. I gripped her steering wheel so tightly I almost broke it off. She shut the door quickly and ran to the porch for protection from the rain.

I decided to keep my attention on the Blacks and not on the way Bella's scent was covered in a delicious sweetness.

"Hey, Billy. Hi, Jacob," Bella greeted them in a incredibly false pleased voice, "Charlie's gone for the day - I hope you haven't been waiting long."

Right, right, I don't believe she is worried about our wait at all. Billy thought with disappointment etched in every sagging line of his face. "Not long," Billy replied dully, "I just wanted to bring this up," he pointed to a brown paper sack in his lap.

I wonder when Charlie will be home. I still can't believe what I saw in her truck. Billy thoughts continued to curse me.