"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your way... whether it kills you or not," my tone growing more forlorn with each word.

"Good." She stated firmly. "You told me how you stopped... now I want to know why," she demanded.

"Why?" I repeated warily, I hadn't recovered from the shock of the question.

"Why you did it. Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."

Her words fell oddly upon my ears and were an unpleasant surprise. Words I didn't expect to hear come out of her mouth. Where did she learn this? In that precise moment it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Alice. A scathing noise escaped my lips as I thought about this. She was a bit sneakier than I realized. But telling Bella about vampire transformations was crossing the line. I couldn't suppress a shiver of loathing. I could feel my nostrils flaring as my lips grew tighter together. I didn't respond, not knowing if Alice really told her, or if it was another one of those legends she read about and was merely guessing how the conversion worked.

Bella broke the silence. "I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships, but it just seems logical... a man and woman have to be somewhat equal... as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally."

It seems her knowledge is not as extensive as I first thought. Of course, in movies and books vampires had to bite their victims to turn them. It was easy for her to deduct these things. Instead of getting angry, I folded my arms on the side of her bed and rested my chin on my arms. Still, I will have to have a...talk...with Alice.

I thought about what Bella said though, about saving each other equally. She doesn't realize how much she has saved me, how she pulled me out of the deepest depression that even Jasper has ever seen. My whole family has fallen in love with Bella merely for what her presence has done for me.

"You have saved me," I said quietly, letting her in on my revelation.

"I can't always be Lois Lane," she insisted, ignoring me. "I want to be Superman, too."

Her statements still had me utterly bewildered. She wanted to be a vampire. Of all things in the world that she could ask for, she asks for the one thing I refuse to give. I was unsure of the best way to approach the subject. Bella, I might kill you in the process and you will burn for three days and beg for death before you finally turn into a vampire who never sleeps and is always aching to quench ones thirst. No, that is too much information.

"You don't know what you're asking." I stared at the edge of her pillowcase, afraid she might see my thoughts displayed across my face.

"I think I do."

"Bella, you don't know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure," I tried not to succumb to the rage I felt bubbling under my skin. Why was she pushing this subject?

"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"

"No, I don't wish that." I used to, but now I realize my fate included Bella, and I would have never met her without Carlisle's rash decision to turn me. "But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose," she admitted, not the least bit embarrassed.

No matter how much she pleaded with me, I would never take her soul. It wasn't up for debate.

"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."

"Why not?" She croaked. "Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days ago... anyway, after that, it should be nothing."

I glared at her. A positively dangerous look crept across my face.

"And the pain?" I asked, curious.

She flinched, obviously remembering the fire that burned through her veins.

"That's my problem," she said coolly. "I can handle it."

Insane.

"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity."

"It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal."

Shock so huge it rooted me to the spot and roughly burst through me. Three days. This was something that could have only been told by another vampire. It wasn't Jasper, he respects other's wishes. Alice, on the other hand...the very nosy, annoying, short vampire that receives visions, has been pressing the 'turn Bella into a vampire' campaign for a while now. I wonder what vision she is seeing now. It must be flickering, I haven't decided how I am going to get even with her for telling Bella about this. Venom was thundering through my veins.

Enough was enough. I didn't want to flat out tell her no. I wanted her to want to be human. Maybe she needed reminders of why she should stay human.

"Charlie?" I asked curtly. "Renée?"

A blank silence greeted my words. She was opening and closing her mouth like words wouldn't form. I waited for her response, but obviously, she didn't have one. Did she finally reach her senses?

"Look, that's not an issue either," she finally muttered an obvious lie.

Apparently she hasn't reached her senses.

"Renée has always made the choices that work for her -- she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient; he's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live."

Was she missing the key words here? If she were to stay human she would have a life to live. If she were a vampire, on the other hand, her life would just become this limitless existence that I refused to make her be a part of.

"Exactly," I snapped. "And I won't end it for you." My careful composure was slipping.

"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!"

Lame justification.

"You're going to recover," I reminded her.

She took a deep breath at my words, returning my stare. There was no compromise in her face, and I wasn't budging either.

"No," Bella said slowly. "I'm not."

Anger vanished, fear replaced it. Was something else wrong with her...like cancer? Was she not telling me something? No, her life couldn't be like one of those sad stories you read about. My forehead automatically creased with worry.

"Of course you are. You may have a scar or two..."

"You're wrong," she insisted. "I'm going to die."

No! She was not going to die, she was going to live. I would fight for her, keep her alive. A sense of hopelessness engulfed me. My mind was lost in a desperate speculation. Panic flared within me.

"Really, Bella." Anxiety broke through my voice. "You'll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most."

She glared at me like I was an idiot. "I may not die now... but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."

Relief, glorious relief. I frowned at her as her words finally released the tension that built so suddenly. My fingers found my temples as I began to rub them, trying to soothe my troubled mind, closing my eyes.

"That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist -- and I shouldn't exist."

She snorted. I opened my eyes in surprise.

"That's stupid. That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it."

She might have made a point if she used something besides the lottery as an example.

"I'm hardly a lottery prize," I growled, anger returning.

"That's right. You're much better," she pointed out.

I rolled my eyes and my lips grew tight. It doesn't matter what else she says, she's wasting her breath. To take her soul would be the last thing on earth I would do. She will stay human. Even if Alice tries to take a bite I will tackle and kill if I must. "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it." Now stop, I added internally.

"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," she warned me. "You're not the only vampire I know."

I will stop her by any means. "Alice wouldn't dare," I growled aloud.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" She guessed. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you... someday."

Dammit! I slipped up. Bella is just too perceptive. I'm going to have to be doubly careful what I say around her, choosing my words more carefully. It's just so hard in a heated argument.

"She's wrong," I barked angrily. "She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either."

"You'll never catch me betting against Alice," she retorted.

We glared at each other for several long minutes. The regular intervals of the machines continued into our silence. Bella's heart was weirdly steady considering the heated discussion we just had. She was lying down but her chin till jutted out, her forehead was creased with thought and her lips pursed. My angry expression cleared at her beauty. It was heard to stay upset with such a glorious creature.

"So where does that leave us?" She wondered.

I chuckled darkly. "I believe it's called an impasse."

She sighed. "Ouch," she muttered.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

My eyes found the button for the nurse. I wanted to bring my original threat back into play if she didn't behave - sedation.

"I'm fine," she lied, her pain was breaking through the pretense.

"I don't believe you," I said gently.

"I'm not going back to sleep," she argued, refusing to let anyone think she was weak.

"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in," she suggested.

"Nice try."

She wasn't behaving. Time for impulsive action. I reached for the button.

"No!" Her eyes saw my hand reach out.

I ignored her.

"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," I said calmly, ignoring her furious expression.

"I'll send in the nurse."

"I won't take it," she said vehemently.

Pills? Doubtful. I looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside her bed.

"I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything," I smiled ruefully.

The thundering of her heart jumped up into a faster face. Looking into her deep eyes I read the irrational fear. She needs rest, and medication will make the pain go away so she can do just that. It isn't like there are going to be sticking her with needles. I sighed in frustration.

"Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now."

"I'm not afraid of the needles," she cried out. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

It was hard to be frustrated at her when she said those words. Jubilation doused my previous anger. I smiled. She was just worried that I wouldn't be here. Hadn't I made it clear that I wasn't going anywhere? Her thoughts were completely irrational. I took her face in between my hands so she had to look at me.

"I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

She smiled back. "You're talking about forever, you know."

Then, I remembered her words to Renée.

"Oh, you'll get over it -- it's just a crush."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I was shocked when Renée swallowed that one. I know you know better."

One day she will outgrow me, though. My worst fear, yet I prayed she was right, that she would want me forever.

"That's the beautiful thing about being human," I whispered. "Things change."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't hold your breath," she retorted.

I laughed. I could hold my breath forever if I had too, though I would never do it for something as stupid as wanting Bella to leave me. The nurse came into the room brandishing a syringe.

Get out of my way. "Excuse me," she said harshly to me.

I got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. I folded

My arms and waited. Bella kept her eyes on me, still apprehensive. I met her gaze calmly.

"Here you go, honey." The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into Bella's IV. "You'll feel better now."

"Thanks," Bella mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn't take long. Bella's head already began to lull from side to side.