"You look tired," I pointed out to continue her talking.

I took in another breath and was instantly intoxicated by her scent. My mouth watered, I was nearly salivating.

No mistakes, I ordered.

"I couldn't sleep." She looked like she was confessing to something and then hid behind her curtain of hair.

Keep it light.

"Neither could I," I teased as I turned the key to start the engine.

She laughed and the sound was harmonious.

"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I wager you did," I returned her smile; relieved the conversation was going so well.

Another - deeper - breath soared down my throat this time and I bit down hard on my cheek. The tantalizing smell was luxurious, painfully pleasurable...a rich profusion, opulent. The elaborate mix of her enticing scent was the only thing I ever wanted to breathe in, though, at the same time I craved the fresh air outside...just to clear my mind. I could literally stick my tongue out and taste her on the air; it was so saturated with her aroma.

Oh, who cares about the pain, she was here with me and that was all I wanted, I told myself.

No mistakes!

I took in a few more gulps of air while the monster clawed angrily at my throat. He was so close to the edge that I was using all my concentration now to fight him back.

"So what did you do last night?" she asked, intrigued.

She instantly scared the monster back into the darkness with just the sound of her voice.

She's clever...but not clever enough, it was my turn to ask the questions - as I had made clear the day before. There were so many questions that were left unanswered and I had to know.

A smile broke across my face and I chuckled.

"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions," I said enthusiastically.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" her forehead creased.

What was going on in her mind? She looked worried and I almost reached out to press my finger in between her eyebrows to smooth out the worry lines.

Keep it simple, light.

"What's your favorite color?"

That was simple enough.

She rolled her eyes.

Maybe too simple.

"It changes from day to day," she smiled.

I knew I was going to have to drag everything out of her, no surprise there.

"What's your favorite color today?" I asked gruffly.

"Probably brown," she said, looking down at her brown shirt.

Really? I had to stop myself from snorting and instantly dropped my serious gaze, the pretense no longer needed.

"Brown?" I asked skeptically.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown - tree trunks, rocks, dirt - is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she complained.

At her answer, I was able to add another thing to my list: she was self-effacing. She wasn't easily led by other people, choosing her color because of what she liked, not what the populace agreed upon.

Suddenly I remembered her muttering, "It's too green," when she was sleeping one evening and tried not to chuckle aloud.

"You're right," I decided, excitement racing through me at all the thoughts I would unlock today. Even learning this little thing about her made me reel with glee.

Okay, back to business. I was abruptly serious again.

"Brown is warm."

Brown was in fact one of my favorite colors, too. I don't know why it took me so long to become aware of this; her deep brown eyes and long brown hair. I hesitated for an instant, not wanting to spoil the moment, but feelings I had never felt before I met Bella were surfacing.

My hand twitched, wanting to reach over and pull her hair from her face, so I could see the beauty that lied beneath. To just lift her chin slightly, turning it in my direction so I could try to read the deep depths of her eyes... Enough.

It would be wrong for me to do it, to place her warm face in my cold hands. The warmth. If I just slightly raised her chin, I could meet her half way...place my lips to hers.

Enough, I ordered again, but it was too late. My hand was out stretched, reaching towards her as I pulled her hair behind her shoulder, gently. Some of the lose strands spilled over my hand. Enough!

I dropped my hand instantly.

No mistakes!

I could feel the warmth coming off of her skin, her fragrance was enveloping, and her hair was soft like silk. My urge to press my cold hard lips to her delicate soft ones had not evaded me.

Stop there, I scolded myself. No more errors. You mustn't be so selfish, I reprimanded.

We pulled into the school parking lot but this didn't mean that my questioning was over...that my desires were gone.

Keep it light, I reminded myself.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" I asked.

She thought for a moment, her eyes un-focusing, looking up.

"Linkin Park." Her eyes met mine again.

Hum, interesting choice. I reached into a compartment under my CD player and after rummaging through the debris I pulled out the same exact CD.

"Debussy to this?" I raised an eyebrow.

She just grinned at me. It was infectious. I returned her smile.

It was time for school to start and we had to part ways. Luckily I could locate her no matter where she was, jumping from mind to mind. I was listing questions to ask her while I waited for the hours away from her to pass. Purgatory had now become a small slice of heaven.

Watching her interact with other humans only added more questions to my ever growing list. I wanted to know everything about her. Was her responses what she was really thinking or was she replying with what they wanted to hear?

My list grew. I made sure to meet up with her in between every class and stroll along side her while she talked; absorbing the information like a snake soaks up the heat from the sun.

During our short walks I was able to unleash some of the questions from my ever growing list. Her every expression, body language, and replies were all-encompassing and intriguing. I was gradually learning each of her little quirks and thoughts.

As I continued to unlock the mystery that was Isabella Swan, I learned something new. She wasn't just good; she was virtuous...above me. I looked at the crowd in the hallway. Above them all.

The day when I could question her nonstop had finally arrived and I was entirely full of a bright glowing light. As each moment passed I was deeply afraid she would realize I was below her, insignificant compared to her greatness.

She still ate with me at lunch, or she ate, I questioned. Sometimes, I got so excited with the information being spilled from her that I began spitting out the questions so fast that she was almost breathless trying to respond to them all. It was hard to control myself.

It was like someone switched on the computer and I was accessing her hard drive, absorbing the knowledge of her mind that she kept locked up nice and secure.

Then, something miraculous happened. Or, by my standards it was miraculous. Because who could possibly like a vampire? During our questioning I asked her what her favorite gemstone was and she blurted out topaz immediately and then her skin turned an appetizing color of red. Automatically, I breathed in a gluttonous amount of air and sighed. Why was she blushing? I begged her to enlighten me as to why she was embarrassed by her answer.

"Tell me," I begged.

"It's the color of your eyes today," she sighed and I watched her look down while the blush on her cheeks became a brilliant red again.

She loved me, too. Like I said - a miracle. Another thing to add to my list: she was passionate. Joy rushed me; almost flipping me over my seat at the feelings of deep affection that warmed me, almost making me feel human. Almost.

I suddenly thanked whatever force brought her to me.

And then, surprising me even more, she elaborated on her answer.

"I suppose if you ask me in two weeks I'd say onyx." Her face turned even a darker shade of pink. I ignored the thirst, easily wiping it away like a bug on my windshield.

Was she finally opening up? I could feel the spring in my step, the instant craving to bound over the table and bring her into my arms...to kiss her warm lips.

She gave me a face like she was bracing for something.

Was she waiting for the fury that radiated off of me when I realized how engrossed she was with a vampire and the fact that she just didn't care? I'd forever hate myself for my poor reactions in Port Angeles...for making her cry.

When the lunch break was over we walked to Biology class. I wanted to reach out and seize her hand...her warm - inviting - hand looked very welcoming to my own. She was next to me but I was feeling detached, like our fingers should forever be interlocked.

Stop it, I thought. No mistakes. And holding her would be a mistake.

We would be continuing the movie in Biology class today which I wasn't thrilled about. Yesterday the electricity in the room was encompassing us. I wasn't sure I would be able to not touch her while she sat so close to me in the dark room where the electricity flowed freely between us. Each little zing practically making me automatically reach out towards her.

We took our seats beside each other and I knew the warm room would soon fill with Bella's scent. The heater turned on and I was waiting to embrace it, to bring it deeper into my lungs so I could revel in the delicious scent, let it intoxicate me. I've never been drunk, but if I had to guess, I'd say her scent made me quite tipsy.

Every moment that passed by when I was with Bella was the most painful and pleasant. Though the fire I felt in my throat didn't dissipate, her aroma was something I continued to embrace. Over time her scent had become less over powering which helped the monster stay securely caged in my chest. Or maybe being around her all the time helped? Had my constant presence in her life helped to make the thirst dissipate? Each moment, the thirst was becoming more manageable with my familiarity with her scent.

The lights dimmed for the movie and I moved my chair a little farther away from hers this time. I saw her eye my movement with sadness, but it was better if I don't entice my senses too much, even though the space didn't matter much to these new feelings I had.

The need to reach out and hold her hand, or maybe put my arm around her was nearly overwhelming.

No mistakes, I fought internally.

She would probably be repulsed by how cold my skin is. She would feel the hardness of my body and maybe then she would realize the monster I am. Would she be terrified then?

No matter how far away I moved from Bella in this warm little room I could sense her and feel the current in the air around us. I watched her as she leaned forward, folding her arms on the desk and resting her chin on them. Not once did I look away from Bella. I watched as she twitched occasionally and wondered what was bothering her.

Did she want to touch me too?

If she did, it would only make it that much more difficult for me to not give her what she wants - to bring her into my arms and hold her securely to my chest like I did the day I saved her from the van.

Hah! He moved away from her. Mike sneered in our direction. Guess things aren't going so well in Cullen land after all.

This enraged me beyond belief and made it that much more difficult to keep my hands off Bella. I wanted to protect her from his thoughts; I wanted to show him that she was mine. But again, I had to remind myself of what a horrible mistake I was about to make as my arm twitched in her direction.

I folded my arms securely across my chest attempting to keep the monster caged and trying to hold my hands at bay. If I were not a vampire, I would have crushed my own bones from crossing my arms so tightly. I was trying to hold back my other desires, now, as they burned and begged for me to just reach over and grab her up into my arms. The fantasy was beginning to spin wildly out of control.

Enough!

When the movie was over I saw her sit up. She was gripping the desk so hard that I saw her fingers go from white to pink as the blood rushed back into them. I watched as the blood swirled under her clear skin. I was internally struggling, trying not to caress her, hoping she hadn't hurt herself by her deathly grip on the desk.

The class was dismissed and I stood up and waited for her to get to her feet. I grabbed her books and walked her to gym. What was she thinking now? The questions burning inside me were not the questions I was going to raise today.

Do you love me too? came to mind. I sighed as my curiosity was beginning to burn as hot as the thirst in my throat.

As I was walking with her I was fighting the urge to reach out and hold her hand, again. The urge was becoming unbearable. My thirst was now second to my new desires.

I was walking at her pace hoping I could convince myself that all of my cravings had to take a backseat to Bella's needs. She is so frail and breakable. The internal conflict was becoming regular.

When we finally reached the gym I still hadn't completely made up my mind. I was totally and utterly unsure of my path. When she turned to look at me with her deep communicative eyes any commitment I had crumbled to pieces.

She looked so glorious that my arm was raised, hand out, and caressing her face from her temple down to her jaw without my consent. A deep fervor brought new sensations down my spine. A tingling feeling rushed through my veins, entering my heart, expanding it with just the thought of my affection. As soon as I realized what I was doing I dropped my hand, turned around and staggered away.

Any semblance of my good nature persona was probably crushed at my rude goodbye. Heck, I didn't even say goodbye.

What in the world were you thinking? I thought angrily at myself. She didn't seem to mind though. She might have even leaned a little into my touch, the devilish side of me thought.

Wow, her instincts were backwards. Who would want to be touched by something so cold?

As I was walking I started peeking into peoples' minds in her gym class. After what happened last time in gym class I had to admit I was slightly anxious that she might injure herself again. To imagine her warmth dissipating nearly crippled me.

I wanted to stay out of Mikes mind but he was always paying so much attention to Bella. As much as I hated him, I appreciated him for always paying attention, but loathed him for unlocking some of her secrets before I did.

Reaching class I sat next to Emmett.

I really hate Cullen, he is such a freak. Mike was thinking in irritation. What does she see in him? He's such a tool. Mike thought scathingly while playing badminton. Well, things did seem a little cool between them in Biology.

At his thoughts I almost shot out of my seat in anger. He was mentally picturing fighting with me and winning Bella's affections. Suddenly, the thought of this feeble human trying to fight me was comical and I was trying very hard to suppress laughter.

Emmett stared at me as he watched the many expressions flicker across my face. I ignored him because I was busy watching Bella in gym.

Mike and Bella didn't speak, and I had to admit it was rather delightful to see him sweat over it. I really didn't like the way he thought about her, or the way he fantasized about being with her. I started to imagine all the ways I could torture him. I smiled at the wistful thought but I needed to banish that idea from my mind quickly before that daydream got too out of control.

What is so funny? Emmett was staring at me, smiling.

It was clear he wanted to know what was going on by his raised eyebrow, no mind reading necessary. I knew he was having a hard time with my situation with Bella. It wasn't because he cared, it was because of Rosalie. She was being difficult. If anything, he was having an enjoyable time with the situation minus Rosalie. Emmett was learning to love humans because he thought they were so hilarious.

I grinned at him and whispered too low for human ears to hear.

"Mike is thinking of fighting me," I chuckled low.

Emmett's eyes grew tight as his smile widened. Now he was trying to stifle a laugh. Emmett always loved a fight, but that one would be too easy.

We could just put him in a room with Rosalie. She has been very irritated lately, Emmett couldn't stop from laughing this time.

He pictured Rosalie in a room with Mike. In this image, Mike was pathetically trying to fight off a very powerful and pissed off Rosalie. Mike wouldn't stand a chance. I grinned widely at the thought, another chuckle escaping my lips.

Ms. Goff looked for the culprit of the laughing and passed over us quickly. Just like the other teachers, they all thought us to be perfect students.

Who is interrupting my class? What could possibly be so funny? She thought angrily.

I arrived outside the gym before Bella had exited, practically bouncing on the balls of my feet. My desires started flaring up again when she finally walked through the doors and her eyes met mine. A smile crept up her elegant face. She was happy to see me, too.

I don't deserve her.

I couldn't help but smile back. It was all I could do to not grab her up into my arms and hug her.

No mistakes. Especially after the one I made before her gym class.

Her scent enveloped me, and the monster reared up, but the desire to hold her over powered the monster and he was pushed into the dark again. Just another stupid bug on my windshield. My body was taking charge without my permission when it came to acquiring what I desired most with Bella.

To preoccupy my time I decided to start my questioning again.

I drove her to her house while unlocking the mysteries of her mind the whole all way there. I parked in her driveway while our conversation continued. We were so engrossed in our exchange that Bella didn't seem to notice we had stopped.

After sitting in the car for quite some time I noticed that she never tried to exit. I was bathing in her aroma and letting the hollow yearn in my stomach and the dry dull ache of my throat remind myself of the monster that I am.

I started asking her questions about her past and I became instantly terrified. Did I really want to know what was lurking in her past? Was there another boy? Someone she had to leave behind? Someone who could hold her, embrace her, care for her without having the desire to drink her dry of life? The fear behind this thought nearly crippled me so I decided I would ask her later about previous boys she dated.

Skipping over the subject I asked her why she loved Arizona. She explained it to me in great detail, excited to answer this one. The way she talked about the place was almost like she loved it, just like I loved her. She used her hands to describe things. It was like I unlocked her voice box. Her thoughts were finally being freed from her mind.

When she was done answering I already had another question in mind. I asked her what her room was like and she began telling me about it in detail. Of course I already knew exactly what it looked like; dotted with shoes, tangles of covers on her bed, closet lacking jumbles of clothes, piles of books and an old computer that at first glance you wouldn't think would work. I couldn't help myself. I had to be near her and asking the inconsequential seemed to be the best way. I felt so alone without her around.

When did she become my life? How did she become my life?

"Are you finished?" she asked with relief in her voice when I didn't spit out another query.

Finished? "Not even close - your father will be home soon." It was more of a reminder for me, not for her.

She looked out the window quickly like she was wondering where the sun went.

"How late is it?" she asked, a little panic in her voice.

She glanced at the clock and surprise crossed her face.

"It's twilight," I answered.

I looked out the windshield and realized another day was over.