"No, it's tolerable. Wait a moment, please," I begged, not wanting to ever let her go.

She stared into my eyes, surely reading the internal fight I was having. I was eager to bring our bodies back together. They fit so perfectly, but I couldn't make any more mistakes. If I were to hurt her now, I would surely wither and die. I continued to stare into her eyes. This kiss... it was the most pleasurable thing I had ever done. I smiled at her casually. I had caged all the beasts.

"There," I exclaimed.

"Tolerable?" she asked.

Tolerable? It was the most amazing experience I have ever had, couldn't she tell? I laughed loudly at the absurdity.

"I am stronger than I thought. It's nice to know." I explained.

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry," she replied with an impish grin.

I was high, excited, "You are only human, after all," I said playfully.

"Thanks so much," she said sharply.

I quickly stood up and offered her my hand, something that I had never done before, but after this afternoon, and after our kiss, I realized that contact with her was not something I should shy from. She looked at my hand in surprise, but reached up without any hesitation, bringing her hand to mine. The warmth was tremendously pleasurable. She wobbled on her feet, but I kept her hand to steady her, not wanting to let go. I was still a little worried about her.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I asked playfully.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," she replied, "I think it's some of both, though."

How amazing were the feelings I had. I felt so light hearted, like there was nothing in this world that could damper my good mood. I looked at her truck then, and remembered that she insisted on driving, "Maybe you should let me drive," I offered.

"Are you insane?" she protested.

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I teased, "You have much slower reflexes," I explained after she gave me a doubtful look.

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella," did she really not think I could handle driving her truck? Was she that nervous I would harm her, after everything we went through today? I looked at her then, saw she was clutching something in her pocket, her key, no doubt. She tightened her lips, considering her options. She shook her head while grinning, her lips still tight, "Nope. Not a chance." She said.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. I couldn't believe she wouldn't let me drive. Did she still not fully trust me? She stepped to my side to walk around me and I watched her unbalanced step carefully, making sure I didn't need to catch her. I stuck my arm out and caught her around the waist, refusing to let her go.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk," I added playfully and chuckled.

"Drunk?" she scoffed.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence," I smiled at her, though it was me who was intoxicated by her presence.

"I can't argue with that," she admitted with a sigh.

I swear, in that moment, I might have felt my heart beat. She removed her hand from her pocket, holding the key. She raised her hand then, and opened it up and I watched the key fall. I snatched it up before it hit the ground, effortlessly.

"Take it easy - my truck is a senior citizen" she muttered.

"Very sensible," I agreed.

"And are you not affected at all?" she asked me, a little pain in her voice, "by my presence?"

All the sensations from this afternoon flooded back into my body and I was instantly eager to hold her in my arms and reassure her. Unthinking, I bent down and touched my lips to her jaw, where I slowly traced a line from her ear down to her chin, knowing if I were to place my lips to hers at this moment, I wouldn't stop her next time she clutched me to her chest. She shivered in pleasure in that moment, and it sent electricity shooting through my body.

"Regardless," I whispered, "I have better reflexes."

I drove Bella's truck with ease. I kept to the speed limit, in no hurry to bring her back. While driving, I kept one hand securely in hers. The windows were rolled down and the breeze whipped her scent all around me. I turned the radio on and began singing along with a song that was playing. Bella's eyes never left my face, and I returned her gaze as often as possible.

"You like fifties music?" she asked.

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" I shuddered. "The eighties were bearable." I explained to her.

I realized I made a mistake when she asked, "Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" but her face was soft.

"Does it matter much?" I smiled, hoping she wouldn't press the issue worried that she wouldn't like what she would hear.

"No, but I still wonder..." she frowned, "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

"I wonder if it will upset you," I mused, hoping she would give me a hint of how old would bother her.

I stared into the sun then, and she didn't respond. I could tell that her face was still looking at mine. After several minutes she insisted, "Try me."

I sighed, turned my gaze on her, and realized I could never lie to her. Keeping secrets from her would be unbearable. Her gaze only made me want to tell her more than just my age. I turned and looked into the sun again, rainbows reflected off of every surface.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I paused, and glanced over to gage her expression. She showed no emotion on her face. My lips twitched at her fa?ade, but I continued, "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza." I explained.

She gasped and I turned to look at her, afraid I had said too much. I don't know why, but I continued, refusing to have secrets between us.

"I don't remember it well - it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." I tried to sift through my memories of that time, but they were dark and unfocused.

"I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget." I told her.

I wanted to tell her the truth, but some things, like how painful the transformation is, and how agonizing it could be, were not something I wanted to divulge quite yet.

"You're parents?" she insisted on more information.

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That is why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he...save you?" she asked.

There was no way I would explain the transformation process, so I tried to explain with as little details as possible, "It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us...I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." I paused, "for me, it was merely very, very painful." And that was all I would say, if she were to ask anything more, I would refuse.

I stared at her then and could see the curiosity in her eyes, but she could tell that I wouldn't say anything more on this subject and didn't ask any more questions. Her expressions made me feel like I should explain why Carlisle turned me, "He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating." I clarified.

"So you must be dying, then, to become..." She didn't say the last word, and I was grateful.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." I spoke of him with respect, "It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak." The sun finally went below the horizon, and I gazed down the dark road.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?" She wondered.

She was curious about our family, and I would inevitably give her whatever she wished, "Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him - he was careful with his thoughts around me," I rolled my eyes; like anyone, except Bella, could conceal their thoughts from me, "But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting - we were in Appalachia at the time - and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." I raised our hands and I brought them to her face where I brushed her cheek, to point out that after smelling her sweet blood, there is no way that carrying a bloody human for miles would have anything on the thirst I felt for Bella.

Bella looked at me then, "But she made it." She was looking for more answers.

"Yes," I whispered, "She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school," I chuckled, "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, again." Which I will inevitably have to play the best man, again, I added mentally.

Bella continued to question me, now that I was being flippantly open with her, "Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another...family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

Bella interrupted me then, "Really? But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things - things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change." I explained to her, hoping this bit of news wouldn't scare her off.

I suddenly remembered her vision of vampire Bella. I instantly became furious at myself, and clenched my teeth. I looked at Bella then, her eyes were intrigued, and I looked away before she could read my anger.

Bella pulled me from my distraction, "What kinds of things does she see?"

I wouldn't dare tell her about Alice's visions of her, so I settled on a story, "She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

I remembered Alice and Jasper showing up at our house. She knew all of our names and asked which room she could move into. I was out on a hunting trip when she first arrived, and she decided she wanted my room and packed all of my stuff up and put it in the garage. Bella's question pulled me from my musings; "Are there a lot of...your kind?" she looked surprised.

I tried to reassure her, "No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting people." I quickly looked in her direction, hoping I hadn't made yet another mistake. She didn't flinch so I continued, "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live...differently tend to band together."

"And the others?" she insisted on more information.

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?" she asked, and I realized I gave more information than I intended.

I parked her truck in her driveway then, and turned the truck off. I decided I wouldn't mention anything about the Southern Wars at this moment.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I teased. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years." I mused.

"So that's where the legends come from?" she asked, interested.

"Probably," I smiled.

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?" Bella inquired.

She had so many questions, but I answered anyways, "No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle, and know that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage." I explained to her.

Suddenly, her stomach made a rumbling noise. I suddenly realized that through the day I had forgotten to feed her! I was instantly angry at myself for not making sure she was taken care of.

"I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from dinner." And I was sorry.

She tried to play it off, "I'm fine really." But her stomach was still making hungry grumbles.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forgot." I tried to explain, hoping she wasn't angry at me, like I was with myself.

"I want to stay with you." She admitted.

I wanted to stay with her too, very much so.

"Can't I come in?" I asked, hoping for an invite.

Her eyes sparkled then, like she never thought of this idea before, "Would you like to?" she asked, excitement in her voice.

"Yes, if that's all right." My excitement over powered me and in one second I was out the driver's side door, and opening the passenger's side.

I never wanted to leave her, and the feelings that were pulsing through me were extremely pleasant. Bella didn't flinch at my instantaneous movement.

"Very human," she complimented, sarcastically.

"It's definitely resurfacing," I teased.

Bella stepped out of the car and we slowly made our way to her front door. I walked closely beside her, reveling in her warmth and beauty. Bella glanced my direction several times, like she was checking to make sure I was still there. Before we arrived at her front door, I strode ahead of her to swipe her key from the eave and open the door for her. She began to walk in, but paused in the door frame, realizing something, "The door was unlocked?" she questioned me.

"No, I used the key from under the eave," I admitted to her, instantly realizing my mistake.

She had never used the key in front of me that she knew about. She stepped inside the house and turned to flip the porch light on. She stared at me dubiously and raised her eyebrows. I knew I had to tell her the truth.

"I was curious about you."

"You spied on me?" she said, with little inflection in her voice.

She hadn't convinced me she was angry, I knew I'd be forgiven, "What else is there to do at night?" I explained.

She turned away from me, and I quickly raced by her and entered the kitchen before she did. I sat in a chair at the kitchen table. Bella's eyes didn't leave mine for several moments. She finally looked away. I hated it when she looked away from me; I could no longer see inside her mind by means of her deep brown eyes. I watched her curiously. She rummaged through the fridge until she pulled something out. It smelt like tomatoes and oregano, blah. I watched her place the food onto a plate and put it in a microwave. She never took her eyes off the plate of food as it rotated in the microwave.

"How often?" she questioned.

"Hmmm?" I asked. I was distracted by my internal babbling.

She still didn't turn around when she spoke, like she knew she was able to hide things easier when I couldn't read her expressions. "How often did you come here?" she asked very softly.

"I come here almost every night," I admitted, hoping she would forgive me for being the peeping tom.

She whirled around then, the vortex of air she made sent her warm aroma all around me and I took her scent into my lungs. My throat ached dully. "Why?" she gasped.

"You're very interesting when you sleep." I suppressed a laugh, "You talk." I explained.

"No!" she gasped, with a little O of horror on her face.

I heard her pulse begin to hammer rapidly, and watched as the blood made its way swiftly up to her cheeks, coloring them red. She leaned into the kitchen counter, grasping it for support, I assumed. If she were to fall, I'd catch her. She didn't say anything else; her face was expressing many emotions, embarrassment, fury, and annoyance. I was immediately displeased by my actions, would she ask me to leave now?

"Are you very angry with me?" I questioned intently.

"That depends!" she said breathlessly.

I paused, waiting to hear her rebuttal.

"On?" I urged.

"What you heard!" she almost yelled.

Instantly, I was relieved that she wasn't mad at me sneaking in, that she was just angry because she was afraid I heard something she didn't want me to hear. I rushed to her side, taking her warm hands into mine, "Don't be upset!" I pleaded.

I lowered my face to hears, looking into her eyes. She tried to look away, but I distracted her, "You miss your mother," I whispered, "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" I laughed, but I continued to hold her gaze, hoping she realized that I wasn't trying to offend her.

"Anything else?" she demanded.

I remembered the many nights I sat in her room and watched her sleep. How, when she said my name, it sent a jolt of pleasure through me.

"You did say my name," I confessed.

Bella sighed then, "A lot?" she asked.

I was suppressing a smile, "How much do you mean by 'a lot', exactly?"

She instantly looked mortified, "Oh no!" she hung her head, taking her gaze from me.

I heard Charlie's thoughts in that instant. He was just down the road from us. Before he arrived I wanted to let her know it was alright, that the many nights she said my name only made me love her more. I placed my arms around her, exerting the right amount of pressure, and pulled her to my chest tightly. I put my lips to her ear and whispered, "Don't be self-conscious. If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." I admitted.

I heard Charlie pull into the driveway at that moment, and realized Bella heard it too. She froze in my arms and ascertained that maybe she wasn't ready to introduce us, after all.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I asked.

"I'm not sure..." she hesitated.

"Another time then..." and I released her and ran swiftly from the kitchen.

"Edward!" Bella called out to me.

I laughed softly then. Charlie placed the key in the lock at that moment and opened the door.

I had moved up the stairs and into Bella's bedroom with a quick motion that no human would have seen. Charlie stepped through the front door in that moment, "Bella?" he called out.

"In here" Bella responded a little breathless.

I heard her open the microwave, pull her dinner out, and pull a chair out to probably sit on. I heard Charlie's footsteps as he walked from the front door to the kitchen. I still had a difficult time reading Charlie's thoughts, though it was obvious what they were this evening; tired and hungry.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." Charlie asked.

I heard some scuffling on the floor, as if he were taking his boots off. I had to concentrate hard to see Bella in Charlie's mind. He watched her take her food to the counter to eat it while she was preparing food for him. She was eating like she had never had food before, like she was completely ravenous. I instantly scolded myself for forgetting to bring food to the meadow today.

"Thanks," Charlie said, and continued to watch Bella.

Charlie could tell there was something off about Bella; he just couldn't put his finger on it. He watched as she took large bites of food, rushing her meal.

"How was your day?" Bella rushed the words in between large bites of food.

Was she anxious to see me again? Is that why she was rushing? Charlie knew there was something up, but he still didn't say anything, "Good. The fish were biting...how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really - it was too nice out to stay indoors." She explained while taking another large bite of food.

"It was a nice day," Charlie agreed, and he continued to watch his daughter eat her food like she was a starving child from Ethiopia.

She had finished the rest of her food and gulped her milk down in a couple of chugs. I chuckled internally. I was standing in the corner of her room, breathing her scent in, while I waited for her.

Suddenly, Charlie decided to say something about her behavior, and I listened intently. "In a hurry?" he asked.

Was she in a hurry? Charlie imagined she maybe had plans with some friends this evening, and was actually surprised to hear her response, "Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early." she clarified.

He wasn't convinced, "You look kinda keyed up."

"Do I?" Bella responded.

"It's Saturday," Charlie mused.

Charlie's mind then began to wonder towards reasons of why she would be keyed up. Was she sneaking out? Was there a boy involved? Did she have plans with someone she didn't want to tell him about? I grinned widely at this, because there was someone she wasn't telling him about, and that person is in her room.

"No plans tonight?" Charlie asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep." Bella replied, a little annoyance in her tone.

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" Charlie asked, still trying to get more information.

If only she knew the type of boy she was interested in.

"No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet," she told him, and she slightly emphasized the word boy, though Charlie didn't notice.

Suddenly, I was...angry...or jealous when I heard Charlie's next thought. He wants Bella to date Mike Newton. If only he knew what kind of kid he really was. Mike would easily trade a girl out for another one that is a better model, how could he want that for his daughter?

"I thought maybe that Mike Newton...you said he was friendly." Charlie smiled at the thought.

"He's just a friend, Dad." Bella said, annoyed.

The jealousy was still raging inside me, I loathe the Newton kid. I would damage him if he were to try to take Bella from me.

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway." That's an understatement, I thought, "Wait till you get to college to start looking," Charlie was pleased she wasn't dating anyone, or looking to date anyone for that matter...if only he knew.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Bella agreed.

I was hoping I was excluded from that statement, though I am sure that I was, since I am the one waiting for her in her bedroom with her unsuspecting father in the kitchen below.

I heard Bella's light footsteps going up the stairs, slowly. I wanted to run down them, grab her up into my arms, pull her close to my chest and race back up the stairs, just so I wouldn't have to waste another second away from her.

"'Night, honey," Charlie called to her.

Charlie was still not completely convinced, and he was making plans and arranging ways to keep Bella home, just in case she were to try and leave without his permission. I didn't blame him though; I was just as protective of her as he was.

"See you in the morning, Dad." She called out.

Bella was still climbing the stairs, slowly, deliberately slow, even. I was becoming impatient. She finally reached the top of the stairs and entered her bed room. She rushed across the floor on her tip toes in an attempt to muffle her footsteps. It worked for Charlie's ears, but not mine. She didn't see me, and I just continued to watch her. She reached the window, flung it wide open, looked back and forth, squinted her eyes, and then whispered, "Edward?"

During her scuttle to the window, and her searching outside, I walked swiftly to her bed and lay there, placing my hands behind my head all without making a single sound. I chuckled then, and whispered, "Yes?"

She turned around so quickly that I felt a breeze from her movement. Her fragrance lapped at my tongue when I caught my breath. It was still amazingly sweet, and doubly tempting. Her hand reached up and grabbed at her throat while her heart starting pounding out loud palpitations.

I had a large smile splayed across my face.

"Oh!" she gasped and sank quickly to the floor.

I pursed my lips, trying to hold back a chuckle, "I'm sorry."

Her heart was beating rapidly, "Just give me a minute to restart my heart."

I sat up slowly, as to not shock her again. I leaned forward then, and reached out, grabbed her by her arms and placed her on the bed next to me. I didn't want her to be sitting on the floor. And I want to be closer to her, I added mentally.

"Why don't you sit with me," I suggested. I put my hand over hers, "How's the heart?"

"You tell me - I'm sure you hear it better than I do." She said sarcastically.

I chuckled low, it was true, I could hear her heart, and tell her that it was beating at eighty beats per minute, which is fast for her heart, but it has lowered since I startled her, then it was ninety beats per minute. We sat there in silence for several long moments. I was listening intently on her heart, as it finally reached about her normal heart rate of sixty-five beats per minute. Once she calmed down she turned to look at me, "Can I have a minute to be human?" she asked.

"Certainly," and I motioned my hand to indicate she should go ahead.

She looked at me for another moment, "Stay," she commanded.

"Yes, Ma'am." I replied and in that moment I froze, showing her that I wasn't going anywhere.

She rose from the bed swiftly, grabbed some clothes off the floor, a bag off the desk and left the room. She left the light off, but that was not an issue, I could see clearly in the dark. Her scent was still lingering, and I breathed in several generous gulps.

I heard her bang a door loudly, probably the bathroom door. I could hear her running water in the bathroom. After a few minutes, the scent hit me...she was in the shower. Her aroma floated under the bedroom door and right to my nose, surrounding my whole body. I could smell the soap she was using and I could smell her blood, as the shower water warmed it. Bella's scent when she was in the rain enriched her scent beyond belief...but this, this was almost torture.

Her scent was so extravagant and delicious that my mouth was watering and venom flowed freely in my mouth. I didn't know if I could take it, I grabbed at her mattress and pulled my free hand to my chest as I tried to cage the monster that was breaking free in this moment. As the scent continued to flow through the room, I was beginning to see her as my prey. All my desires had reared up in this moment, and I knew that I needed to keep them in check.

The water shut off then and I heard movement in the shower. The thirst was still overwhelming. I was becoming anxious at this moment that I would do something I would regret. Should I flee? I was quickly going through all the outcomes that could happen in this moment. Suddenly, pulling me from my distraction, I heard a thought that was screaming loudly.

Edward! I've only come here to warn you of the many flashes I have seen in my head since Bella left you alone in her room. Please, please, be careful. Alice's thoughts were a warning.

The visions that she had in her head had pulled me out of my hunting status. I was very grateful to her tonight. She could have easily let it play out, and see Bella possibly become a living statue like me. She had stayed close, just like I asked her to, and she might have saved Bella's life. Her visions had flashed through my head and shown me what I might have done. The thoughts instantly burned me, not in a thirsty way, in an way that would make me beg for death if they were to come true. The monster was now securely caged in my chest. I went to the window where I saw Alice standing in the trees, and whispered, "Thank you."

You're welcome, Edward. By the way, I hope you are still planning on asking her to come over. Alice mused.

I whispered with a little bit of a growl this time, "Thanks, Alice, you can go now."

Just a thought, Alice chuckled and ran swiftly from the house.

I heard the bathroom door open in that moment. I moved quickly back to her bed, and resumed my statute pose. I could hear Bella literally running down the stairs. She stopped in the middle, "'Night Dad," she called down to Charlie.

Charlie's thoughts were confused, and he was still not convinced she was not up to any good.

"'Night, Bella." he called back up to her.

I heard her jumping up the stairs. The bedroom door flung open, she turned quickly, and shut the door slowly behind her. She smiled at me and I returned her grin. I gazed at her appearance, her hair was still wet from the shower and she was wearing a holey t-shirt with grey sweat pants, and she was absolutely striking. Her smell was tremendously intoxicating, but now that she was here in the room, the monster who almost got free, didn't even scratch at my chest. I raised one eyebrow then, "Nice."

She frowned. She had gotten the wrong impression, "No, it looks good on you." I tried to explain.

"Thanks," she whispered.

She crossed the room and sat on the bed, crossing her legs beside me. She wasn't looking at me; she was staring at the floor.

"What was all of that for?" I asked about her running down the stairs and running back up.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out." She mused.

She is perceptive, "Oh," I said, trying to sound like I had no idea, "Why?"

"Apparently, I look a little over excited."

I reached over and lightly placed my finger under her chin to lift it up so I could see her face, and read her eyes. I took air in my lungs then, and the aroma coming off her body should be illegal.

"You look very warm, actually." I mused.

In the moment, I had to know what her skin felt like after being in that hot shower for so long. I slowly bent my face to meet her cheek. Bella didn't move. My mouth was to her ear, "Mmmmmm...," I breathed in her ear, she smelt absolutely delectable.

Her breathing picked up along with her pulse. I was instantly eager, like I had been when we first kissed.

"It seems to be...much easier for you, now, to be close to me," she thought.

"Does it seem that way to you?" I murmured.

It was true; it was getting easier for me to be around her. I'm afraid if I were to be away from her for any period of time that I would have to start all over, giving me yet another excuse to stay with her.

I moved my nose so it lightly caressed her jaw line. I reached up to move her hair away from her neck with the lightest of touches. She trembled under my touch. I moved my lips to the hollow under her ear and kissed lightly.

"Much, much easier," she breathed.

Her pulse was hammering.

"Hmm." I murmured in her ear.

"So I was wondering...," Bella began talking, but I hushed her immediately with my touch.

I started stroking her collarbone with my finger tip, but I was still curious, "Yes?" I breathed in her ear. She trembled again.

"Why is that, do you think?" her voice was trembling with pleasure.

I laughed lightly, breathing in her ear, realizing that it would cause her to tremble again. Her pulse picked up, "Mind over matter," I breathed.

She pulled away from me then. Instantly I was nervous I had done something perverse. I wanted to pull her back to me. I froze; worried I did something incredibly wrong. I clenched my jaw in worry. She stared fixedly at me, her eyes cautious. I slowly and deliberately unclenched my teeth. What was the matter?

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No - the opposite. You're driving me crazy," she exclaimed.

I was euphoric in that moment. She was enjoying this as much as I was.

"Really?" I asked, exultant.

A smile gradually spread across my previously worried face.

"Would you like a round of applause?" she asked, her voice acerbic.

My grin became wider, "I'm just pleasantly surprised," I explained, "In the last hundred years or so, I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with...in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it...at being with you..."

Belle interrupted, "You're good at everything."

The only thing I cared about being good at was being with her. I shrugged and we both silently laughed.

"But how can it be so easy now?" she asked, pure curiosity in her eyes, "This afternoon..."

"It's not easy," I sighed, "But this afternoon, I was still... undecided. I am sorry about that; it was unforgiveable for me to behave so." Before the self chastisement could commence she was quickly disagreeing, "Not unforgiveable."

She was ever so self sacrificing, "Thank you," I smiled, "You see," I continued, taking my eyes from her so she couldn't read the chagrin, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough..."

I reached out and pulled her hand to my face, letting it warm my cheek, "And while there was still that possibility that I might be...overcome" I sucked in the air at her wrist, letting it envelope me, "I was...susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would...that I ever could..." I couldn't say the words that would condemn me.

"So there's no possibility now?" she asked, hope in her voice.

"Mind over matter," I repeated, and smiled at her, even though it wasn't completely true.

"Wow, that was easy," she said, amused.

Unbelievable, I threw my head back and chuckled in whispers at the ceiling.

"Easy for you!" I told her as I lightly touched the tip of her nose with my finger.

The touch sent electricity through me, like it always does when we touch. She needed to understand though, that it wasn't easy for me at all, I had been fighting with so many desires when I was around her I was unsure if I could constantly keep them all caged.

"I'm trying," I whispered to her and to my thoughts, "If it gets to be...too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

Who was I kidding? Would I ever be able to leave this wonderful soul now that I found her? I would never find someone like her again. She frowned at me then.

"And it will be harder tomorrow," I continued, "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though. I think" I explained to her.

I wanted her to realize that I am still a blood drinking killer, and that her blood was still the sweetest of them all.

"Don't go away, then," she pleaded.

More than happy, I replied, "That suits me," and I smiled at her loving face, "Bring on the shackles - I'm your prisoner."

I encompassed my hands around her wrists. I laughed quietly.

"You seem more...optimistic than usual," she ascertained, "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I grinned widely, "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

If this was not love, I would like to know what it was. I had never felt so euphoric before.

"Very different," she agreed, "More forceful than I'd imagined."

"For example: the emotion of jealousy; I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me..." I frowned, remembering how all the boys in town lined up for Bella, "Do you remember the day Mike asked you to the dance?"

She was looking intently at me. She nodded, "The day you started talking to me again."

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury that I felt - I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care. And then the line started forming," I laughed at the memory of her face as she became angrier each time someone asked her to the dance.

Bella frowned at the memory.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew if I continued to ignore you as I should or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike or someone like him. It made me angry."

"And then," I whispered, "as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer."

During my small speech, Bella's heart began to pound, and her pulse began to race, I continued, "But jealousy...it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational. Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton..." I shook my head, I absolutely hated that kid.