"That's going to be embarrassing," she muttered.

This could be more amusing than I realized. Now her heart was beating loudly enough for both of us to hear with all of this equipment magnifying it. I chuckled.

"Hmm, I wonder..."

I leaned in, deliberately trying to hear her reaction; the beeping noise hammered quickly along with her heart before my cold lips even reached her warm ones. Her heart continued to beat a little faster as I slowly moved in for the kiss.

Gently, I reminded myself; placing my lips upon hers, sending a spine tingling sensation through me as she lightly moaned in pleasure. Her heart was racing before it gave a huge bound and then it stopped altogether. Panic hit. I pulled back instantly as the light beeping noise started again. Relief, a feeling that seemed to be recurring over and over today, swept over me.

"It seems that I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than usual," I grimaced.

"I was not finished kissing you," she grumbled. "Don't make me come over there."

Affection gushed up inside me and against my careful stature; a smile crept up my face at her obvious love for me. It was amazing that she still yearned to be with me like I craved to be with her. After everything I had done to her she still wished for a proximity that I was still reluctant to give her; I was filled with a trepidation that I would hurt her, break her, kill her somehow. Despite my thoughts, I still bent down to press my lips lightly to hers. The heat crept up my face and down my veins as it brought warmth to my cold heart.

In the hallway, I could hear a discussion being whispered.

"How long will it take before she wakes up?" Renée asked the nurse. Soon, please tell me soon!

"It's up to her, Mrs. Dwyer."

"Well, thanks anyways," she sounded defeated. Edward is still in there I bet - they have had enough time alone. Who knows what those crazy kids were up to before this accident happened.

I pulled out of our kiss.

"I think I hear your mother," I smiled.

"Don't leave me," she cried irrationally.

Terror was obvious in her deep brown eyes. "I won't," I promised solemnly, and then I smiled serenely. "I'll take a nap."

I jumped from the stiff plastic chair by her side to the turquoise artificial-leather recliner

at the foot of her bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing my eyes. I became a statue.

"Don't forget to breathe," she whispered mockingly. Going along with her humor I took a deep breath, my eyes remained closed.

Renée's light echoing footsteps moved towards the door before she lightly pressed against it, causing the door to crack open.

She's awake! Renée thought excitedly. Her eyes peeked through the space, hoping to sneak a peek at a possible conversation, eavesdropping before she opened the door all the way to rush towards Bella's open eyes.

"Mom!" Bella croaked out, her voice relieved.

Oh, my baby girl, Renée's mind was easing slightly. Through her eyes I could see my still form feigning sleep. Ah, he's asleep...but still here. Her annoyed thoughts became verbal. "He never leaves, does he?" she muttered.

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!" Bella ignored her mom's spoken thought.

Renée's expression cleared, her eyes returning to her daughter. Forget Edward...my baby. My beautiful baby girl. She's awake. Tears flowed down Renée's cheeks as she bent down to hug Bella awkwardly.

"Bella, I was so upset!" Renée spluttered through her tears and other inarticulate sounds. I should have never, ever let her go to Forks. What was I thinking? I'm such a fool.

"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," Bella tried to reassure her.

She's sorry? I'm sorry! Everything's not okay. Look at her...all the bruises.

At Renée's thoughts, my stomach tightened sickeningly with pain. I felt a pang of unease. The bruises...the broken bones...they were my fault, no one else's. Sick images swam in my head and continued to come at me relentlessly. Every part of me ached with my idiocy - my ignorance - at what my clandestine existence ultimately brought to Bella. Thoughts of leaving her echoed through my head, but my love continued to pulse in my heart, my inability to leave her growing stronger. The ongoing battle continued to ensue inside me.

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." Renée sat down at the end of Bella's bed.

Her eyes are so sparkly. To think that there was a possibility that they could never open again...she grew sick at the thought, letting it trail off to images of coffins and people dressed in black.

Struggling, I tried to push her images from my mind fiercely. My lurking doubts started resurfacing in my mind. I should leave Bella to her life, stop destroying her future.

"How long have they been closed?" Bella gasped, her mouth forming a little O of horror.

"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."

"Friday?" Her voice was full of stunned disbelief.

The two worst days of my life.

I had to agree with Renée's thoughts, except they were the worst two days of my entire existence.

"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey -- you've got a lot of injuries."

"I know," Bella winced.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice man... very young, though. And he

looks more like a model than a doctor..." If I wasn't married...

"You met Carlisle?" Bella interrupted her fantasy.

"And Edward's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl." The whole family is breath taking. What kind of food are they feeing them?

Only if she knew of the consequences of having our beauty and the blood we drink to continue our deplorable existence.

"She is," Bella agreed sincerely, unstinting devotion, love emitting from Bella's eyes in rays of emotion.

Suddenly I was in Renée's vision. Wow, she really does feel strongly for this family. But, what about this boy? He seems to be around much more than the rest.

"You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks," Renée said suspiciously, turning back to Bella but continuing to steal glances of me over her shoulder.

I wonder what their deal is...

Renée was busy stealing another glance over her shoulder when Bella moaned in pain. The lamentation of grief reached Renée's ears, her eyes quickly found Bella's. So did mine, flashing open as soon as her mom's attention was no longer on me, panic coursing through me.

"What hurts?" she demanded anxiously, voicing my same concerns. Her thoughts were full of a deep motherly concern, one full of love.

"It's fine," she tried to relieve our tension. "I just have to remember not to move."

Her words eased some of my panic. Closing my eyes again, I focused on her through Renée's thoughts.

Never again. She's not going back to Forks. Thank god for Phil's contract. She'll be so excited.

"Where's Phil?" Bella blurted out, almost as if she were reading her mother's mind too.

"Florida-- oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best

news!"

"Phil got signed?" Bella interjected.

"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?" She can finally move back home!

Deep down I could feel the hollowing of my insides along with the burning of my heart at the thought of Bella moving away, but it was the best thing she could do. She should leave, graduate high school, college...get married and have kids. Not stay with a vampire who could offer her no future.

"That's great, Mom," she replied in a questioning enthusiasm.

I knew what was going to come next. The borrowed time was lessening. Instantly, I became increasingly nervous.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much," she jabbered while Bella stared at her vacantly. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn't that bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom --"

"Wait, Mom!" Bella interrupted. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

My heart, my cold, dead, unbeating heart...I swear, it just started beating again. She wanted to stay in a place she hated, and I knew it was because of me.

What? Maybe she doesn't understand. Renée smiled. "But you don't have to anymore, silly," she laughed. "Phil will be able to be around so much more now... we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom." Bella hesitated for a second. Automatically I tried to hear her mind, the space between us silent as ever before she spoke. "I want to live in Forks. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends" -- suddenly I was in Renée's vision. It's because of him, I know it. -- "and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all."

I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that she didn't want to go to Florida with Renée, and I was all for that plan. Even though it wasn't a good plan.

Forks...Renée's thoughts were babbling inarticulately. "You want to stay in Forks?" She spluttered.

Again, I was in her vision, my face tense with the conversation. This boy...Does she love him, too? Still...Forks. Insane.

"Why?"

"I told you -- school, Charlie -- " she shrugged "ouch!"

Bella - how do I comfort her? Her hand fluttered uselessly over Bella's body. Her eyes narrowed in on an un-bandaged spot and patted lightly. Seriously, though - school? Charlie? I don't believe it.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she stated firmly.

"It's not so bad."

Well, that wasn't the response I was hoping for.

Oh, come on. Renée scoffed. Again, I saw my face flash in front of her eyes before she turned back to Bella. "Is it this boy?" she whispered.

Bella opened her mouth and then closed it. What was she thinking?

"He's part of it," Bella finally spoke nonchalantly. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"

"Yes." He's quite mysterious... "And I want to talk to you about that."

How stupid to even consider someone approving of me for their daughter.

"What about?" Her lips pressed together tightly.

"I think that boy is in love with you," Renée alleged, keeping her voice low.

"I think so, too."

Despite the situation we were under, I grinned at the memory of our time in the meadow, the first time I confessed my love for her.

"And how do you feel about him?" She was pushing for details, which means Bella will have to lie. I cringed internally at that thought. She was a horrible liar.

A small gush of air swept in and out of Bella's lungs before she spoke. "I'm pretty crazy about him."

This made me happy. I nearly took her life, yet, she was still 'crazy about' me.

"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bella..." I was hoping that I wouldn't have to have 'the talk' with her until she was older. She sighed. What was I expecting? She is seventeen after all.

"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush."

Crush? Just a crush? Her words burned more than my thirst. Deep down I knew she was perpetrating a farce, but still, just like at her house before we left for Phoenix, the words caught me off guard.

Crush...I can handle that. Then it's not too serious after all. "That's right," she agreed.

Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall above my head. I need to get home...Phil. He'll be worried if I don't answer the phone.

Seeing the time for myself I was disheartened that my time with her was slowly passing by. Sooner than I'd like, I would have to leave her forever. Was I brave enough? Did I have enough will power...enough strength?

"Do you need to go?" Bella interrupted my reverie.

"Phil's supposed to call in a little while... I didn't know you were going to wake up..."

"No problem, Mom." Bella said indifferently. "I won't be alone."

I bet you won't...not with Edward keeping an eye on you. "I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know."

"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home -- I'll never notice." The words were slurred slightly, the drugged stupor still not completely worn off.

"I was too nervous," she admitted sheepishly. "There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone." Her eyes darted to the newspaper next to the bed.

"Crime?" Bella asked, thunderstruck.

It was awful. The building was in ruins. Renée was picturing the remains of the ballet studio. "Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground -- there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?"

"I remember," her voice quivered slightly under - what I would expect to be - bad memories.

She looks scared. Maybe I should stay here... "I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me."

Edward, again. That could also be a good reason to stay. "I'll be back tonight." I hope he heard that. She glanced at me again as she thought it.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to

lose you." I never realized her clumsiness would come to this though. Seriously - a coma in the hospital.

I remembered Carlisle looking over Bella's X-ray at the hospital after the van nearly crushed her to death. She had many healed fractures. Trying to suppress laughter, I could stop the grin that spread across my face.

I wonder if that hot boy will be in the room. I heard the nurse's thoughts that checked on Bella yesterday. She came bustling in then to check all of the tubes and wires.

Renée watched the nurse for a minute. I better get going. I don't want to miss Phil's phone call. He'll be elated to hear that she is awake finally. She kissed Bella's forehead, patted her gauze-wrapped hand, and left.

The nurse was checking the paper readout on the heart monitor. Hum...I wonder if this is because of him. The nurse pictured my face. He makes my heart do funny things, too. Maybe she is just worried or nervous. I would be if I woke up from a coma, too. "Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there."

After Renée left I opened my eyes, watching the nurse interact with Bella, pushing her thoughts from my mind.

"I'm fine," Bella assured the nurse.

I'm sure you are. I'd be fine too if he was at my bed side. "I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."

The nurse turned on her heals and strode quickly out of the room.

It took me less than a second to move to her side, so quickly that she didn't see me move from point A to point B. Instead of her being surprised, her tiny eyebrows rose in humor.

"You stole a car?"

Duh, I wanted to say. Instead I just smiled.

"It was a good car, very fast," I refused to apologize; she didn't seem to mind.

It had to be fast, my only purpose was to get to her as quickly as I could...to save her life before James had the opportunity to take her away from me forever. I was too late, but just in time to barely reverse the effects of the venom that had rushed down her veins.

"How was your nap?" She smirked.

"Interesting."

My mind was wondering, remembering her plea to stay in Forks and her word crush. My eyes narrowed slightly and she noticed the change in my facial features.

"What?"

Honestly, I was happy with her response to stay in Forks, but disappointed all the same because now I had to find the courage to tell her to go, that she would be better off without me in her life. Was I brave enough? Was I that self sacrificing? By the look on her face she had already read too much into my face so I looked down.

"I'm surprised. I thought Florida... and your mother...well; I thought that's what you would want."

The many nights I watched her sleep, as her worries and thoughts were spoken freely, let me know how much she truly cared for her mother. Also, when she talked about Renée it was if a parent were talking about a child. Was she just tired of the responsibility of her mother? That was uncharacteristic of her, so probably not the culprit to her reasoning to stay in Forks. The word crush rang through my mind again and so I couldn't be the reason, either.

When I finally looked up she was staring at me uncomprehendingly. "But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire."

A real vampire? What am I, chopped liver? The humor quickly passed. It was time to convince her to go back home...to Florida.

"I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," I explained." Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."

She stared at me with a blank expression, like she was having trouble processing my words. Was it the drugs? Maybe this conversation should wait until she was more aware and alert. I was just making excuses. Her lips turned down into an unfathomable expression as the monitor magnified her heart beats which were quickly increasing. The beeping nose and the pounding in her chest were reaching a dangerous point, going so fast I was nervous. Her breathing picked up along with her heart. Soon, she was gasping, hyperventilating. Her eyes began to water as her face contorted into a horrible grimace of pain. The soft lines of her face were suddenly sharp and defined. I didn't know what to do, what to say.

That beeping doesn't sound good. I better go check it out. A different nurse came marching into the room. Maybe she had a remedy that I didn't. She looked over the monitors to see that her regular heart beat, and the insane palpitations that were pulsing wildly through her, were not the same. Wow, she looks like she is in a lot of pain. Jeesh, what a tortured face.. "Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked sweetly, tapping the IV feed.

"No, no," Bella choked out, the pain still clearly in her tone. "I don't need anything."

Of course, she didn't want to seem weak.

"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest." The nurse waited, but she just shook her head.

"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready."

This better not be his fault or I'm going to kick him out of the room so she can get some rest. The nurse's stare bore into me, like she was trying to burn a hole through my skull before she glanced at the machinery like she was warning me she could hear it. She left the room. I'll be listening.

Ignoring the overly observant nurse I placed my hands on Bella's face to bring her attention back to our conversation. Her eyes were full of moisture, the look in them wild with unease and anxiety. Her heart was still bounding wildly ahead.

"Shhh, Bella, calm down." I tried to soothe her.

"Don't leave me," she begged me, her voice cracking with the pain. Her pupils dilated in terror as her lips trembled uncontrollably.

When she begged like this, how could I deny her anything? All my plans, all my thoughts...every second of deciding to leave her crumbled into little pieces.

"I won't," I promised. "Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you."

Still, her heart continued to thunder along, not relaxing one bit to my words. Great, I was going to give her a heart attack. All my efforts to keep her alive and just the mere thought of my absence would send her over the edge. A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the glorious soul in front of me... What had been for one purpose before was now for another. To stay. To keep her alive. To prevent her heart from exploding with the pain that I was feeling too.

"Bella." I lightly brushed her face apprehensively. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me," I promised.

"Do you swear you won't leave me?" She whispered a small splutter of terror. She was gasping for air as her heart continued to beat out of control, her pulse continuing to reach a danger point.

Her reactions robbed me temporarily of breath. It was oddly disembodying trying to understand her fear, because it was me who couldn't live without her. It shouldn't be the other way around. Before the nurse decides to kick me out of the room I had to calm her down. I took her face between my hands. Her warmth crept up my body slowly as I brought my face only inches from hers before whispering to her, "I swear."

Her breath was filling the air between us. It was very appealing, but in this moment I was too worried about her heart and her breathing. Each second the rhythmic motion of her breath and her heart slowed. I refused to let go of her until she had calmed down. When the monitors had quieted I sighed in relief.

"Better?" I asked, surveying her face.

"Yes," she answered, her voice sounded guarded.

Under my breath I began muttering so low she wouldn't hear me. "Beautiful, insane, overly sensitive girl. What an overreaction." I shook my head.

"Why did you say that?" She whispered.

At first, I didn't know if she actually heard what I had muttered.

"Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?"

Again, insane. With increasing desperation I tried to explain to her that I did want her, that it would literally kill me if she went away.

"No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational," I added sensibly. "And I have no problem with saving you, either -- if it weren't for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger... that I'm the reason that you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason," she interjected with a frown. "The reason I'm here --alive."

I had less resolution than ever.

"Barely." I choked out. "Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move." I stared down at her like it would force her to mend.

"I wasn't referring to my most recent near-death experience," her voice was slightly irritated.

Staring at her, I tried to read her eyes. Yes, I saved her in the past, but that had nothing to do with the present. She was still in this hospital bed because of me. The silence tautened and strained.

She finally spoke. "I was thinking of the others -- you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery." Her voice was like an angry drunken titter from all the drugs in her system.

The memories made me wince several times. The van, Port Angeles...my thoughts trailed off, not wanting to think of where she would be if I wasn't there to intercede on her behalf. Then I realized I had already made my decision. I wasn't going to let her leave. If she did I would follow her, even if she was unaware of it. No matter what, I would watch over her, keep her from harm, for as long as I could justify it. Luckily, I don't see how she would ever not need me to keep her safe. I suddenly found myself wishing that her clumsiness would never go away.

I looked at her gauze covered wrist, my original thoughts surfacing. "That's not the worst part, though," I continued, ignoring her previous words of comfort."Not seeing you there on the floor... crumpled and broken." The words caught in my throat. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain -- all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling... knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself," my voice tailed away feebly as the memory of her blood in my mouth, swirling sweetly down my throat, surfaced.

"But you didn't," she pointed out.

"I could have. So easily."

Her breath came a little quicker again. Panic was obvious in her eyes. Did she finally understand that she should fear me?

"Promise me," she whispered.

"What?"

"You know what." She gave me an insolent stare. I was wrong; she didn't fear me, just the opposite.

How can I promise to never leave when I know one day I will have to? Not now, though. I can't leave her now when she needs me. Still, I gazed uncertainly towards her, my eyes automatically tightening. A lurking doubt resurfaced in my mind. She's here because of me. This is my fault. If I stay - this might happen again. I couldn't have that. I could feel the warmth of her pulse in the air and on my skin. Trying to master myself I realized that my time with her was ticking away. Hearing her voice - an extraordinary tonic, I might add - after the two days of complete and utter silence, settled my thoughts.